I’m 26 and single at the moment. I work in a call center, surrounded by a bunch of men with which I have super cool relationships. We joke a lot but it’s all in good fun. There is one coworker though, who is very flirtatious and I am to confess so am I. He’s gorgeous. I’m really attracted to him and I know he is into me as well…. only thing is he’s married. I know that dating married men is very complicated. He’s on his second marriage and apparently very unhappy but I don’t want to become a cliché. I have my principles and they include showing respect for the institution of matrimony but shit… my defenses are about to crash and burn! What do I do working everyday in the midst of this situation?
Dear Reader:
You have said it yourself, there is nothing more cliché than the married man’s claim to an unhappy marriage. I’ve always thought, personally, that if it were such an unpleasant situation, they would be divorced and there wouldn’t be an issue with dating. Then again, there are so many reasons why couples stay together…and so many of those reasons have nothing to do with love. You know what I mean? Some are into it for money, for the kids, for society, for fear of being alone… there are as many reasons are there are people. No matter the reason though, those are his reasons and you should focus on what you want for yourself.
I’m not your parent so don’t expect a lecture…but as a professional I am to say that I have yet to meet a lover who is happy in the long term…be it male or female…being second in line always gets old and painful at some time in the story. So I say stay true to your principles and look away. Dating married men will always be trouble no matterwhat. Maybe you can ask for a change of department at work so you don’t have to see him as much … or better yet, sway your attention on one of the single hotties there surely must be around you.
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